Thursday 14 May 2009

Intervention - necessary or not?

Since my appointment at the hospital this morning, I have been debating something. Firstly, why are there so many pregnant women in the world? I thought everyone hated sex.

Secondly, how much intervention is necessary to ensure a baby is born safely into the world?

Take my situation for example; fell pregnant with my first son Jack, 11 years ago. Was greeted with the usual indifference that a first timer receives and ended up looking at a dead baby at the 20 week scan. Reason? Placental insufficiency. It just didn't work. From the moment of finding out to delivering my son (because a labour is best for Mum - who says?) I was literally bombarded with hundreds of questions about when to induce labour, what kind of pain relief I wanted, did I want to see the baby when it was born, what kind of burial did I want... I don't think I had even come to terms with my pregnancy at 20 weeks, let alone that it had ended so abruptly.

Move on a few more years and pregnant with number 2. There's not much chance of you losing a baby a second time around I was assured. well, I can prove them all wrong because second son, Oliver had triploidy, more commonly known as a chromosome disorder. This time, there was much more sympathy on offer, but still as many questions. Do you want to terminate the pregnancy, how do you want to terminate the pregnancy, do you want to be in hospital or at home when this happens, do you want to see the baby when its born etc... God, who thinks I have all the answers? Its at times like these when you absolutely can't think straight.

So, third pregnancy and this time I am offered all the care under the sun. Except I was referred to an over stretched specialist unit in Birmingham, dealing with as many foreign immigrants as english women. Thus my experience was sufficiently less great than anticipated. I don't think I saw the same Consultant twice so my history had to be repeated again and again and again. Not great when you're trying your hardest to forget. But to be fair I did receive additional care and I was scanned about 11 times (try holding in all that wee that many times) and the result was my beautiful son, Oscar.

So, finally getting to the real point here. Sitting with my shiny brand new Consultant this morning, the whole saga had to be repeated again. Lost the first two, had Oscar in Gib etc etc. Questions, questions, questions. I know why it has to be done but instead of making me feel safe and reassured, I am now thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Before today I was blissfully unaware of the pitfalls (because I had put them to the back of my mind) and now I am a nervous wreck. Talking to my Mum about all of this she reminded me that "in her day" there were no scans, no tests, no back ups and that you "just got on with it", which leads me to ask, is that better than knowing too much? How much intervention is necessary, and, if a pregnancy is just not meant to be, should it just be left to nature to decide?

3 comments:

Maternal Tales said...

Wow - you have been through a lot (but as you say, you probably don't need reminding of that). I'm not sure I have an answer re:intervention, but I'm sure 99% of Mothers would do whatever they had to do to make sure the baby was ok. Just as in labour when you've set your mind on having a natural birth and the doctors say you have to have a c-section now or else there's a risk of losing the baby. No Mother would debate it. I guess if the doctors say that intervention is needed, then unless you are medically trained or have vast experience, you go with what they say is necessary.

Hope you feeling ok. Try not to get too stressed about the pregnancy. It will all be fine xxxx

Unknown said...

What a lot to go through. I often think that its better not to know too much, as you can only worry and often there is nothing you can do anyhow. I am a firm believer that you do know in yourself if you are alright or not, but then perhaps im a bit of a hippy mummy in some respects. However, ive had both my kids in hospital and I would recommend that to first time mums so in a way I contrdict myself there. You really ahve to do what you feel happy with, and if you are not happy with the hospital, then change it!

Jo Beaufoix said...

My initial thoughts were exactly the same as Maternal Tales, Wow, you have been through so much. To be honest I'm definitely glad that we know all the things we know now and have the opportunity to see our babies through scans etc. I had early bleeds with both of mine and was so relieved to be able to see them, rather than having to wait and see.

I suppose as I've never experienced the heart ache and now the fears you have it's hard for me to say I'd rather know or not. I do think I'd have done anything to help my babies if they were in trouble just as you would, so I would say intervention is a good thing from that angle, but I'm sure the decision is never that clear cut.
Great post.