The adventures of Explorermer Mortimer - http://tinyurl.com/dh6ydc

You MUST check this out.

In addition to; looking after a small child, setting up a brand spanking new business and dealing with imbecilic financial institutions on a daily basis, hubby has decided to branch out into story telling.

Story telling for children, adults, in fact; anyone.

I don't like to give hubby compliments because his head is generally big enough but I have to commend him on his efforts. It is a fantastic read.

Bear in mind the characters actually exist, and if at that point you don't think me and the other half are complete nutters, then please stick with our inane ramblings and business goings on...

You have been warned.

Proud Mummy

I don't often count my blessings. Bit of a shame really because if I did it more often I would tell my husband how great he is at being a husband and my family would know I loved them more than life itself.

But today I am going to because I have had one of my first "proud mummy" moments.

Carl and I set off on Saturday morning to visit some good friends of ours that are due to become parents in September. My worry I suppose was that seeing first hand what it is like to look after a vibrant (and that is an understatement) 9 month old might just put the fear of god into them. I know when I was pregnant, experiencing parenthood from a distance was not a great thing for me and my confidence. In fact it made me feel sick. Even more sick than morning sickness.

Anyway, we arrived at midday and promptly handed Oscar over to them for a cuddle and a hello, to which he responded considerably well given that he doesn't really "do" cuddles and would much rather bash you in the face with a slobbery fist (obviously in a "I can't yet control my hands kind of way - he is not a bully I might add.)

This optimistic beginning actually continued through the whole weekend. He was fun to be around, there were no nappy changing meltdowns, no tantrums, no refusing of food and spitting it out/rubbing it in his hair. No weeing on us, carpet, sofas or other people. Sleeping in his travel cot with no fuss (he has only slept away from home once before), sleeping through the night and generally advertising parenthood as the best thing since sliced bread.
Now I suppose it wouldn't have really mattered if he had been slightly more "challenging" as he tends to be now he has found his feet and his vocal chords, but it was nice for hubby and I to go away and feel really proud of our little boy. And to know that we had left our visitors with a warm feeling about impending parenthood, rather than sheer terror.

Of course tomorrow is another day and Oscar is a little human being like all of us. He has his ups and downs, good and bad days, highs and lows. But for me, if truth be known, I am simply thankful that aside from what he does and how he acts, he's here, he's full of life and he's healthy.

You can't ask for more than that.

Spark Your Potential

Off I went yesterday to a networking event at Alton Towers.

I arrived in plenty of time to meet a co-WAHM, Amanda, who will absolutely kill me for mentioning that she is 21 (soon to be 22 - very important that) and has 3 children under 5 AND a successful business (www.ellaannouncements.com). God she made me feel old. But she is lovely so I will let her off.

We carefully edged our way into the room of business women, not feeling intimidated at all and ready to be inspired during the seminars and via networking opportunities. The first thing I noticed however was that there was a distinct lack of chairs in the room. Now I happen to have one leg slightly shorter than the other and so spent the next 15 minutes shifting from one foot to another, uncomfortably. I don't understand why chairs were lacking unless the organisers felt that we needed to be kept on our toes (literally).

Most important thing to mention - there were loads of foodie bits to be had, although I could have quite easily worked my way through a whole tray of mini choc croissants - not very important and successful like business woman behaviour. So I stopped at 10.

Jo Cameron (of Apprentice fame) was the first to kick off and I have to say that I was very impressed with her enthusiasm and zest for life. Lets face it, whenever you go to any event, you expect to be faced with the "I've got it all women" who you immediately take a dislike to, but I really quite liked her. Jo has moved on to designing and running seminars for women - www.jocameron.co.uk (in business and generally) and I am most tempted to join one, given how inspiring I found her on the day. If you want to get on in life and in business, her website is worth a look. And yes, she still has the same zany laugh that you will remember from her time spent with the GOD that is Sugar.

The first seminar I attended was on inspirational women and was fantastic. Amongst the speakers were Jo (mentioned above), Jenny Hudson (fab cake maker - you must check out her website www.sweet-as.co.uk), Ranbir Sahota who runs her own home based PR business (www.vitispr.com) and last but not least, Sandra Brookes (self employed business adviser) who I shall affectionately call "The Quiet Assassin". I have decided on this title because Sandra is extremely gentle, quietly spoken and kind hearted, but clearly when faced with a knife wielding lunatic would not only be able to disarm him but beat him up and leave him in a tangled mess on the floor. Actually I'm not sure of this fact exactly, but I wouldn't want to cross her in business, lets put it that way. The lady knows her stuff and is very determined.
Amongst some of the little gems I picked up were;

1. Think intuitively
2. Get in touch with your local women's business development agency for help with funding, advice, grants, expert support
3. Keep on top of debtors
4. Take a decent salary for yourself
5. Be resilient
5. Keep your values alive
6. Deal with the big stuff first

Note to self - STOP WATCHING JEREMY KYLE AND GET ON WITH IT LISA.

The second seminar was PR on a shoestring and hey-hey guess what this is?

I think amongst all of the valuable advice and information I picked up, the event taught me that I JUST NEED TO BLOODY WELL GET ON WITH IT. So the new me is going to work even harder at getting this business off the ground.

Watch this space.

Mixing business and pleasure

I am about to launch a business with my husband.

Given that we have a very "healthy" relationship and ordinarily love each other considerably - is it wise to take a leap into the unknown and mix business with pleasure?

For example, will arguments only serve to increase the passion in our marriage, or will he be sleeping on the sofa more?

Will we argue at all, and, more importantly, will he be allowed to win any arguments?

I am a very stubborn person, so stubborn I argue with myself a lot of the time. How will this translate into a mutually supportive business relationship?

I think we will be OK, after all he knows when to just nod politely and when to answer back, the trouble is - I don't.....

I am looking forward to our new business arrangement but I can't help but ponder on the above questions, definitely a female trait because he is just thinking about whether or not I'll start to wear skirts again.

Oh to have a more simple outlook on life.

MY NEW LOGO

I AM SO PROUD.

Sophie Hannah

Did anyone read Sophie's article in SHE magazine (April edition)?

It was headed "Why I feel trapped by motherhood" and detailed Sophie's own experiences of being a mother. She talks of finding it scary looking after her children and how her lack of maternal nature has made parenting a difficult concept to accept.
She goes on to say that "if more people acknowledged how hard and unpleasant it can be to look after small children, perhaps we'd all get more help, both from our extended families and society in general".
Sophie clearly loves her children (as do we all) however the thought of "restricting her freedom" in any way causes great anxiety. Prioritising her love of writing over full time motherhood is a choice Sophie has made and whether you agree with her or not, you have to admire the lady for being "true" to herself and more importantly for publicising her feelings.
I felt inspired to contact Sophie myself to acknowledge her determination and honesty and to tell her that she was not alone. I too find myself sometimes wondering what I have got myself in to when I realise I have had to completely change as a person to accommodate this new life.

But then who can say that they've never had this thought since becoming a parent?

Interesting article - interesting lady.

Where do I start?

Firstly - note to self - MUST get font right. It has been pointed out quite correctly that I have started to post blogs that could only be classed as suitable for dwarfs to read. Hopefully you can all now read my ramblings well enough (not sure whether this is a good or a bad thing but anyway my font faux pas has been overcome).

Secondly, despite my excitement and nervousness at attending local networking event, I didn't make it due to acceleration of very bad head cold, resulting in sore throat, annoyingly tickly cough and intense head pain. You must all know how bad I felt because I am not a man and do not exaggerate common illnesses.

Anyway, decided to send hubby without me, with clear instructions not to f*** up.

Needless to say he did very well without me. No I am not sulking...really.

On a more serious note, he managed to complete our pitch in under one minute and was given a "thumbs up" from the camera guy. Either he did very well or it was a blatant attempt to chat up hubby who was probably mistaken for being gay. This happens a lot, along with him being mistaken for a plumber on several occasions. This always results in a laugh from me because he has no idea how to "plumb" anything. And I mean anything.

He got back to our house at about 9.30 and was full of chat about how the evening had gone - there were about 70 business angels in attendance, Rachel Elnough of Red Letter Days fame and enough funding opportunities to build the next olympic stadium. When asked who he had sought out for business advice and any golden nuggets of info for our business, his answer was "well I spoke to a retired midwife who has invented a chair to stop your knees hurting if you crouch a lot at work"....OK then.
To be fair there is a significant link between midwives and our business but needless to say we will not be selling chairs for crouching in the very near future...
Its just a waiting game now to find out if hubbys magic worked and we win the pitch competition...I will keep you all updated as I know life will stop at all levels until you find out!?

So, what next?

I'm almost at the point now of design spec stage 1. We have a meeting arranged with our web developer and I have researched to the point of obsession. This is where I have to leave my womanly traits of general indecision and delaying tactics and get on with the job of creating my dream.

No pressure then.

Networking - the good, the bad or the ugly?

Well I'm off to a networking event tomorrow and have booked myself in to "pitch" for a prize of on-line mentoring from an ex-dragon, in a bid to improve my chances of making my business a success.

I have 1 minute to sell my business concept, my entrepreneurial skills and how I will achieve my route to success.

I can't decide whether this is going to be;

1) Incredibly insightful
2) Horribly embarrassing
3) A buttock-clenching nightmare

What are your thoughts?

Is it me?

Yes, I'm up again. This time it is 3.06am and after having gotten up to drink some water to help heal my incessent and very annoying cough, look at e-mails, view the blog, read a post on Mumsclub about Insomnia (how apt), I thought that I may as well contribute something to society (well not quite, but you get my drift).

One question that stayed in my mind yesterday as I was wandering around my local supermarket, is it me or are other people intrigued by their fellow shoppers? Why is is that you hear some of the most interesting conversations whilst queuing to pay for your bread, milk and chocolate biscuits....no definitely not chocolate biscuits...fruit, yes definitely fruit (husband might read this)....

Take for example the conversation that I (accidentally) tuned in to.

"Well, you shouldn't give in to him" (me thinks this is a girlie chat about husbands/partners inadequate behaviour and am about to nod my head in agreement)

"If you didn't let him have it, he wouldn't miss it" - (ooo this could get interesting....)

"I just think you are way too soft with him - he's far too manipulative" - (a tad too controlling maybe?)

"I know but I love him so much" - (ah, what it is to be in love...)

"Well you should have just picked the biscuits up then instead of the can of Whiskas, then he wouldn't know any different" - (WHAT?)

At this point, curiosity got the better of me and I HAD to turn around. I then realised (from a quick scan of the products ready to be paid for) that they were talking about food for the pet cat??!! Now, I'm sorry but if you fail to use the precious time allocated whilst queuing at the checkout to:

1) Moan about work/boss/smelly work mates
2) Discuss at great length husband/partner/ex-partner/ex-ex partner
3) Talk about any of the related subjects : hair/clothes/shoes/money
4) Think/talk about chocolate
5) Scan the person in front of you's shopping and make up their life story for them
5) Listen to other peoples' conversations

Then there is something seriously wrong with you.

What is it about colds and timing?

My other half has been away this weekend. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have a major cold, earache, sore throat, tickly cough and very sore nose. My son isn't really bothered. He is just mildly irritated with my incessent coughing and me blowing my nose. He is afraid of my sneezes and I think at the last count I made him cry 8 times.

He just wants a play mate and not a dull one at that.

Of course now I am ill, I am thinking about my business. All of the things I could have done this weekend - research, networking, planning. I'm feeling guilty cos thats what women do. When they are feeling bad and generally run down, they make themselves feel worse by mentally torturing themselves.

At least I have had my Mum around to help me entertain my son and generally stop me from going insane this weekend, although I suspect he would prefer a playmate that looked like Sportacus. No such luck there I'm afraid.

Anyway tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow will be better because my head won't feel like a big ball of cotton wool. It will be better because I will have set timescales for my concept meetings with my web developer, and it will be better because Oscar won't be teething, wrestling with me whilst attempting to change his nappy or biting my leg (a strange habit he has started in the last week or so). Well 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

What am I doing up at 02.20am?

This is a question I ask myself regularly. It's probably because when I'm up in the night after settling my son who has:

a) lost his dummy
b) lost his bear
c) lost his blankie
d) all of the above

I start thinking.

Oh dear.

I then check my e-mails, and then my recent posts on several business and Mummy related forums, and then my blog to see if anyone else is up at this ridiculous hour (er no)... and before you know it, its morning and I'm still tired whilst everyone else in the house has at least had a decent nights sleep.
I decided earlier today that I must be a little bit mad....the odds are stacked against me but still I look for more things to occupy my already busy mind. Its a good job I don't have a very small child (who is learning every day to be ever so slightly more destructive), a hubbie who is out of work and a business to get up and running. Still life would be dull if there weren't at least 100 distractions to contend with.

So, where am I on this path to personal fulfillment? Well, my research is well underway, my website design is a mass of post it notes on some brown paper (learnt that somewhere whilst working for an arty farty company) and I now feel as though I have something worthwhile to contribute to my local Mummy community. If only my personal life was so well ordered...

What I want to know is - how many entrepreneurial Mums out there worry about the following:

1) Grey hairs
2) Grey hairs on legs
3) Any hairs on chin
4) Size of tummy, boobs and hips
5) Still looking pregnant when not
6) Yummy Mummies and their apparent take over of the world
7) Victoria Beckham disappearing into her own head
8) Networking
9) Not networking
10) Dog having a poorly tummy and transferring all manner of germs to an already sick son
11) World supplies of chocolate running low - best buy up all the Wispas before they disappear again
12) Will anyone read this blog?
13) Will anyone hate this blog?
14) What am I doing up at 02.33....revert to top of post.....

Help me to create something fantastic