Pooh song

Yes, I have finally found a "Pooh song" that sums me up nicely. And here it is;

Up-down-up
When I up, down and touch the ground
It puts me in the mood
Up, down and touch the ground
In the mood... for food
I am stout, round and I have found
Speaking poundage wise
I improve my appetite
When I exercise

I am short, fat and proud of that
And so, with all my might
I up, down and up and down
To my appetite's delight
While I up, down and touch the ground
I think of things to chew, like honey
With a hefty happy appetite
I'm a hefty happy Pooh

With a hefty happy appetite
She's a hefty happy Pooh

Get it on i-tunes - marvellous ditty.

Unconditional love?

Over the BH weekend, we received a visit from my dad and step-mum. It was the first visit since we moved into our new home over 5 months ago and only the 3rd or 4th time my dad had met Oscar since he was born in June last year.

I always had high hopes for Oscar and my dad when I was pregnant. I knew that dad was not a baby person but I naturally thought those rose tinted glasses would be well and truly on when my son was born and that they would naturally bond, much to my delight.

Well nothing could be further from the truth.

I don't think my dad has yet cuddled Oscar. Come to think of it he hasn't even spoken to him.

What is that stops my dad from making the transition from distant stranger to doting grand-parent? Is he worried about looking silly when engaging in the usual silly frivolities that a baby loves? Does he really dislike babies that much that he can't bring himself to go anywhere near one, or is it that he just has no feelings for my son?

I guess I can't bring myself to think that this is the case because who wouldn't love Oscar? OK I know I am biased but he is cute and in the main a good baby; friendly, amenable, giggly and only occasionally prone to wind.

I know my dad didn't really "do" parenting in the usual sense of the word. Yes, he was always there for me, yes he supported me financially through my life when needed, and yes he provided me with a strong sense of morals and a passion and drive for succeeding in business but I don't think cuddles were offered in abundance. What stops someone from putting their arms around someone they so unconditionally love?

I appreciate that not everyone will love your child, god knows I used to (and still do) harp on about it to hubby - that we should never assume friends and distant family will immediately want to change our sons nappies, put up with his obsession with Pocoyo and friends, wipe his dribbly nose and look happy when biscuity fingers find their way onto their nice clean jeans, but shouldn't grandads, grandmas and all other bods falling into this category just find all of this particularly endearing?

I'm unsure as to how their relationship will develop. I know I can't keep Oscar away from dad but I can't bear to see rejection year after year as my sense of protectiveness gets stronger.
Hopefully I won't have to worry about this problem because the situation will right itself. So why do I have a nagging feeling that I might be being slightly over optimistic?

Perception or Reality?

I've recently took to pondering about how truly happy people are and whether the change in economic climate has had a massive impact on how we view ourselves and others.

I know I am happy, despite facing considerable personal challenges in my past and present life. I also know when others are not because they question why I am. I honestly don't find myself looking at the way my friends and family live and questioning why. Those that do are clearly looking for some kind of reassurance and reason for their own life choices.

To give you an example;

Last year, I finally managed to achieve what I thought was THE impossible task - having a baby. It only took 10 years and a couple of very late miscarriages to get there. I was living abroad at the time of giving birth to Oscar and had set my mind to experiencing a different way of life and culture for at least 3 years. However it was not to be and under very difficult circumstances we moved back to the UK with a 3 week old baby. I didn't know it at the time but I was also spiralling towards a serious dose of PND. Hubby started to look for work, but together with a very tearful and constantly dribbly nosed wife draining his resources and a very difficult economic climate, it proved to be an impossible task. I also found out I had skin cancer. Oh and Oscar was almost treated for TB (except it wasn't in the end - THANK GOD).

It soon became apparent that our life as we knew it pre-move abroad was not going to exist in the new world and so we decided to take a different approach. That's when Derbymums was born as a concept and since then we have channelled all of our business skills and experience in to the project.

As a consequence however, we have had to make massive financial sacrifices and there is no doubt that our new way of living has been at times tough - however the benefits as I realised the other day hugely outweigh the disadvantages. These are mainly;

Our son has us both around and so has the benefit of twice the love care and attention. I appreciate that we are very lucky to be able to provide this, hence why it is at the top of my list

Hubby and I have each other and we get on well. We are a business partnership and best friends. We have our disagreements but I wouldn't be without him. We can bounce business ideas around all day and we don't have to wait for a rushed time slot over a hurried evening meal before our heads hit the pillow with exhaustion

We can go for walks in the day with Oscar and just sit and take in nature and the world around us. When I worked in the "corporate world", I barely had time to think for myself let alone focus on what was going on around me

I don't have to worry about any back stabbing, conniving, up to no good, vindictive bosses who want nothing more than to make you look bad whilst making themselves look great. I have been in this situation more times than I care to remember, mostly since it became acceptable in todays' society to treat people like sh*t and not with common decency

So, when well meaning friends and family imply that we are in a sorry situation and must be terribly down about what we have lost and how we now live, I find myself having to put them right. And I would question, are you sure that living in a corporate world, battling to find time to nuture those closest to you, trying to prove yourself all the time when in reality you could just do without it, taking time to take a deep breath and reflect on where you are heading in life and just generally appreciating your life for what it is, is making you really happy?

Everyone has a different way of looking at things. I just know I am happy being me, doing what I'm doing and trying to make a difference by launching a business that will work with local people, businesses and charities. And because I am happy being me, I am perfectly happy for everyone else.

Isn't that the way it should be?